What should I know before I make ‘mum friends’?

Ah, mum friends. They can be the women you met on your maternity ward or in your local mum and baby group. They know better than anyone else, what it’s like to be a mum and can be a lifeline in the beginning of one of the most difficult, albeit rewarding jobs you’ll ever take on.

The good…

You can share almost everything

There’s no one better to share those little milestones with than a mum who had her baby the same day as you! You always have someone on the end of the phone (or WhatsApp – when the baby is asleep) who is literally going through what you are going through, week to week, month to month. From comparing tantrums to morning routines, there’s no one better to feel your pain than a fellow mum.

Truth telling

Mum friends are not afraid or embarrassed to tell other mums that there’s food or bodily excrement on items of clothes and/or hair. They will be completely understanding about offering spare clothes for the journey home, or at least a Doc McStuffin sticker to cover up the evidence.

Meltdown relief

Mum friends will understand when you just can’t cope anymore. They will completely understand when you cancel plans rather suddenly. More to the point they will provide the appropriate consolation chats that will always make you feel better. (‘He’s learned his lesson now’, or ‘she’ll move out one day’).

Related: Myths about babysitting: debunked!

And the bad

Your kids mightn’t like each other

It’s true. Just because you and your mum friend both love to Netflix and wine of an evening, does not mean your kids will like each other. In fact, they might hate each other. This will only become more awkward as you linger at the school gates chattering while your kids glare at each other.

Children are the sum of your lives

We love our children, but that doesn’t mean we want to talk about them 24/7. Unfortunately, with mum friends, sometimes it can feel like all you are able to talk about are your kids and their relative prowess at school, sports, drama club or what have you…

You will get advice

‘I know it’s nothing to do with me, but…’ Unsolicited or not, be prepared to hear ‘an outsider’s view’ of your children, your marriage and your mother in law. All meant in good faith of course, but unasked for nonetheless!


Originally posted 2018-05-30 08:28:14.