Back in the saddle: The truth about sex after birth

In a way, sex after having a baby should be easy. After all, that’s how you made your bundle of joy, and isn’t having a baby together the most romantic thing of all? Well, yes in theory – but in reality, you’ve just pushed a baby out of your nether regions, probably after several months of being sore and uncomfortable in the general pelvic region; you’re looking after a newborn with questionable sleeping patterns 24/7; and you’re worried that you’re not doing it all in the right way. And probably after six weeks of little to no sleep, you’re bickering with your partner. So sex is probably the last thing on your mind.

Having a baby is tough going on your body – you’re naturally physically tender, but your body is also recovering from nine months of pregnancy. Hormone changes after birth can play havoc with your moods, and have we mentioned the tiredness? Having said all that, sex is important in a relationship, it brings you closer as a couple and after having a child it’s vital to remember that you’re a couple, not just parents. Try these tips to help you get back in the saddle after having a baby.

Be patient

We’re not expecting you to be swinging from the chandeleirs a few nights after returning home from the maternity hospital. Let yourself heal and recover first – in some cases, you may have to wait until your six-week check-up from your GP before getting the go-ahead to have sex again.

Be affectionate

Sex is not all about intercourse you know. If you’re not quite ready to get back into the swing of things, keep that feeling of closeness with your partner by cuddling, holding hands and generally being affectionate. Keeping that physical connection going will make the transition to a full sex life all the easier when the time is right.

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Get some help

While things generally go back to normal physically a while after giving birth, don’t be afraid to help yourself in the meantime. Your pelvic floor may be loose, so keep up those pelvic floor exercises – on a practical level, they will help with any temporary urinary issues, but on a sexual level, toned pelvic muscles can help intensify vaginal sensations during sex. Remember that hormones can leave you feeling a bit dry (or you could even be nervous of painful sex after childbirth), so invest in a tube of KY Jelly or other lubricant to help your through.

Have a date night

When you’re ready, arrange a date night with your partner – even a date night at home will do. Getting into a romatic frame of mind, just like you did before baby, can help get you in the mood. Candles and a nice dinner can go a long way…

See your GP

If you have any worries in this area, or are finding sex painful and unpleasant after birth, get chacked out by your doctor to make sure there are no physical issues. It could be just a case that you’re not quite ready yet – and that’s fine too.


Originally posted 2017-02-16 16:09:50.