Woman’s plea for an end to fertility and baby questions goes viral
We’ve all heard the questions; “When will baby number two be along?”, “When will we be hearing the pitter patter of tiny feet?!”, and even though they are mostly innocent and well intentioned, they can sometimes leave us feeling a little pressured, with Sex And The City actress Kim Cattrall recently even speaking out about her own frustrations at being called ‘childless’.
Now, a Facebook post posted by freelance writer Emily Bingham from Michigan has asked people to stop with the asking and respect people’s choices and business, and has since been shared over 35,000 times.
Sharing a Googled photo of an ultrasound to grab her followers attention, Emily set out to make a point about pressuring and asking “single 30-somethings” and “the parents of an only-child toddler” when they plan on having more children. In a second post, Emily said her post was inspired by an issue close to home, where a friend who had struggled for a year with fertility treatment was asked a mere month after giving birth when she would plan to have a second baby.
The post has since gone viral and brings up a good message, something that seems to have struck a cord with women all over.
The Post:
“Hey everyone!!! Now that I got your attention with this RANDOM ULTRASOUND PHOTO I grabbed from a Google image search, this is just a friendly P.S.A. that people’s reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Before you ask the young married couple that has been together for seemingly forever when they are finally gonna start a family … before you ask the parents of an only-child toddler when a Little Brother or Little Sister will be in the works … before you ask a single 30-something if/when s/he plans on having children because, you know, clock’s ticking … just stop. Please stop. You don’t know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues. You don’t know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn’t right. You don’t know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids. You don’t know who has decided it’s not for them right now, or not for them ever. You don’t know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration. Sure, for some people those questions may not cause any fraught feelings — but I can tell you, from my own experiences and hearing about many friends’ experiences — it more than likely does.
Bottom line: Whether you are a wanna-be grandparent or a well-intentioned friend or family member or a nosy neighbor, it’s absolutely none of your business. Ask someone what they’re excited about right now. Ask them what the best part of their day was. If a person wants to let you in on something as personal as their plans to have or not have children, they will tell you. If you’re curious, just sit back and wait and let them do so by their own choosing, if and when they are ready.”
Hear, hear.