When you become a mum the term “tired” takes on a whole new meaning. When you fall asleep on the ironing board god help the person who asks why, sure you’ve been at home all day?
Sleep can be elusive when you have a baby with the skills of David Beckham playing a game with your gut. Every time you think you’re dozing off he’ll score a goal. You walk around with mismatched shoes (not that you can see your feet anyway) and forget the end of your sentences, which you blame on pregnancy brain. You hope it’ll get better once the little tot is born and your body is your own again…we won’t spoil the surprise.
He’s not sleeping tired
All new mums know this one. Once the novelty of having a newborn wake in the dead of night wears off, it becomes a fun game of “it’s your turn” between you and your partner. The loser (you) will spend the night rocking and coddling an unsettled baby followed by a day resembling a partied out student after a jagerbomb bender.
Everyone’s sick tired
You’re head is throbbing, your eyes itch and your body weighs a tonne. Unfortunately, when the sniffles has spread to your little one and your partner is comatose with a nasty bout of man flu, you realise there’s no sick days in your mummy contract. This is the kind of tired that leaves you standing, stirring the soup pot without realising you haven’t even turned the stove on!
When you’re child is a toddler (hopefully) he/she will sleep through the night. This is what your sleepless body has been waiting for. But now the noise can walk and is able to come to you, at 7AM, tugging on the bedsheets until you go make some toast and watch cartoons with them. The moment you’ve been waiting for right?
Two kids tired
If you thought you couldn’t have been more tired when you had your first child try adding a second to the mix, just for fun. Between the newborn night-time feeds and the toddler’s morning madness, you’re not sure when you’re going to fit in time for a nap, maybe when they head off to college?
Three tequilas tired
To prove you’re the coolest mum you hit the tiles and party like your pre-baby self. A couple tequilas in and you know you still have it. Through your drunken haze you’ve forgotten that you also have a personal, screaming, vomiting alarm to keep you entertained the next day. But it’s OK, you sleep when they sleep, cry when they cry, vomit when they vomit…it’s a bonding experience really.
No recovery time tired
The “New Mum” workout consists of running around after everybody all day and truthfully it’s harder than any fitness DVD we’ve ever come across. Up the stairs to soothe the baby, down the stairs to entertain the toddler, and repeat 10,000 times. Yet, unlike the gym bunnies you get zero recovery time. You wake up with new aches everyday and can never quite remember where they came from.
Mid Term tired
You approve of holidays in theory but they just no longer seem that appealing in practice. They’re intended as a break from working life but when you’re a mum you bring your work with you. Granted it’s a job you love unconditionally but when a trip to the beach means you have to take on the role of picnic chef, sporting referee and sandcastle architect, it can leave you more than a little exhausted.
maternity & infant
Originally posted 2016-02-04 16:42:27.