And in times of high stress irrational thoughts can literally control a control freaks mind: ‘If I’m not home by 6pm, I’m a terrible parent. If I don’t get that raise, it means I’m terrible at my job. If I don’t it it will never get done.’
Rather than tackle irrational thinking and massage it into more realistic thinking, a controlling person attempts to control the situation, usually by trying to control other people.
Want to know if you’re a control freak? Here are eight signs for your self-diagnosing pleasure.
You help people change
You believe that if someone would change one or two things about themselves, you’d be happier. So you try to “help them” change this behaviour by pointing it out, usually over and over.
You’re a micro-manager
Control freaks often micro-manage people to fit into (often unrealistic) expectations. You don’t believe in imperfection and you don’t think anyone else should either.
A judge of behaviour
You judge others’ behaviour as right or wrong and passive-aggressively withhold attention until they fall in line with your expectations. Sitting in silent judgement is a master form of control.
You give ‘constructive criticism’
Sometimes, thinly veiled ‘constructive criticism’ is offered to people in order to advance your own agenda.
You change who you are or what you believe so that someone will accept you. Instead of just being yourself, you attempt to to manage other people’s impressions of you.
It’s either ‘this’ or ‘this’
You present worst-case scenarios in an attempt to influence someone away from certain behaviours and toward others. This is also called fear mongering.
You need to know
You have a hard time with ambiguity and being okay with not knowing something.
maternity & infant
Originally posted 2015-07-24 13:23:05.