Becoming a new parent is like your first day at the word’s most terrifying job, even if it is the best job in the world. There are fears and concerns that plague every new mum, but don’t worry we all had them and we all survived them.
You’ll be trapped
Once you cross the bridge into parenthood, there is no turning back. You are forever subject to different rules, amplified vulnerability, and heightened anxiety. Your new reality will become such a part of who you are that your former, relatively carefree life may start to feel like a past life. This might sound really depressing now, but soon it will seem only sort of depressing. Because that thing parents always say about how they could never imagine their lives without their children? It’s mostly true.
You’ll turn into your mother
Becoming a mum is bound to make to you look at the way you were parented and in most cases follow suit. Whatever your opinion of your mother’s parenting, you will, at some point, hear her voice coming out of your mouth and wince. It’s inevitable; the key to becoming the kind of parent you want to be, rather than following blindly in the footsteps of familiarity, is awareness. Think about what you learned from your mother and decide what you want to emulate and what you want to avoid.
You’ll lose yourself
Transitioning from an independent person to a parent involves a balance of holding on to the things that are important to you and knowing when to let go of the ideas that are no longer crucial to your sense of self. But growing into a new version of you doesn’t mean you’re saying goodbye to these parts forever. Will becoming a parent change you? Most definitely. Will becoming a parent turn you into a baby crazy, worrying parent who obsesses over their kids to the point where nobody else exists? Nope.
Your relationship will never be the same
Okay, this one’s actually true. The introduction of a baby into a family will alter the dynamic — but that doesn’t mean it will be worse, and it doesn’t mean you’re going to lose all the things that are good about it. Co-parenting gives you a whole new playing field to operate on. It can take hard work on both parents’ parts, but when a good co-parenting relationship grows out of a good romantic relationship, your bond will be stronger than ever.
You won’t have enough money
Kids are expensive and the economy sucks — there’s no point in pretending this doesn’t add up to some very valid anxiety. But worries about being able to provide for your child can take on mythical proportions if you let them get out of control. You may not be able to give your child everything you want (or everything he wants), but there’s reason to believe this is not a bad thing. Children who grow up in homes where money is an issue gain some skills that kids with seemingly unlimited resources do not. Budgets teach boundaries and help kids prioritize and learn the value of money management.
You’ll be a bad parent
We live in an age of extreme parenting. “Experts” promote parenting techniques at every turn, and it’s easy to worry that you won’t be able to live up to the ideal. But who even knows what the ideal is? Everyone’s got an opinion, and the only one that really matters is yours. Will you disappoint yourself as a parent? Hundreds of times. But that doesn’t mean you’re bad at it; it just means you’re human. And being a good person is a great first step toward being a good parent.
maternity & infant
Originally posted 2015-07-06 16:38:14.