Having a baby is tough. Having a baby for the first time is even tougher. If you’re a new parent, or about to be one, things are going to change a lot! We have the most common things new parents fight about and how to solve them.
The only ‘S’ word you’re thinking of these days! The sacred sleep. This is probably the biggest argument you and your significant other will have when you become new parents. Who gets more, who deserves more, who awakes from it when baby cries and so on and so forth. Try to make a compromise, both of you are responsible for your beautiful little crying bundle of joy and both of you deserve sleep ins, or to sleep through the night. If one of you works during the week and doesn’t do the night shifts then, ask this person to do the weekends. Be generous with each other as much as possible, and focus on that current 24 hours instead of the entire week’s sleep schedule.
The ‘right way’ to do things
Arguing over who does what best is another disagreement you both will have. The parent who spends the most time with baby can sometimes think they know best. However, this can prevent the other parent from learning. If it isn’t affecting your baby in a huge way, try and keep criticism for how your partner handles things to a minimum.
Who the baby wants
Sometimes, the phrase “but the baby wants you?” is used, often around the time they are screaming crying and uncontrollably upset, and this can sometimes result in an argument! Your partner may shrink away from a screaming baby due to feelings of inadequacy when it comes to being able to calm him or her down. Establish a routine, setting up familiarity, where you take turns to calm down your baby and reduce inclination for baby to settle better with one parent over the other.
Whether you’re at work all day, or at home minding baby, sometimes both parties can feel under appreciated due to the other not really knowing exactly how hard you worked that day. You both have worked hard, and after a stressful day, with baby or with work, feeling appreciative of your partner’s hard efforts can sometimes go unexpressed. Simple gestures, such as a compliment here and there creates a stronger and more positive working dynamic between you two.
Having less/no sex
This can be a shock to your partner when baby arrives. Baby takes both your attention 24/7, and can mean your relationship as a couple can be put on hold in the beginning, as all your energy is going into learning how to look after baby. One of you may feel less appreciated or less in focus when a baby arrives, and tiredness can lead to crankiness and a lesser focus on romance. Your days and nights will both be action packed, with work and the baby at home, but try to make use of the quiet moments (if you’re not sleeping!) Sit together at the end of the day, if only to talk one on one about yourselves and focus on something you appreciate about them, how you’re glad you’re sharing this journey with them. It will get easier, we promise.